October 18, 2016 Shahillab

Being called a ‘Loose Cannon’ or other such labels isn’t nice. It’s happened to me more than once, usually when I challenge something that doesn’t feel right or ethical. Have you ever been called a ‘loose cannon’? I hope that question doesn’t offend as it isn’t meant in that vein at all.  ‘Loose Cannon’ where did it come from and why have I been called one a good few times in my life? Although I didn’t know the origins of the term or its true meaning, I got the gist alright! I checked out the urban dictionary, (good old Google…

October 18, 2016 Shahillab

A lesson when my ‘R’s go missing which I think you too will find useful. Yesterday I did what I always do, rolled out of bed, saw to the cats, pottered around tidying (I can’t function in too much of a mess, I have my limits). I enjoyed a nice relaxed breakfast with my youngest who was all set and ready to leave for her sixth form interview…exciting times! Anyway, once I saw her off I got on with my usual routine. Making myself a nice cup of herbal tea; then to decide where I’d like to work from (chose…

September 7, 2016 Shahillab

Troubling visits from the past can impact your future. We are after all, only human, there are things that we’ve experienced, have happen, let happen, had done to us, whatever it may be. Although you may have ‘dealt’ with it, generally speaking, some of these experiences have a way of  subliminally influencing us, rearing their ugly head from time to time.   At the point of the troubling visit…what do you do?   I guess the answer to this question depends on what that troubled visitor is all about, and who you are as a person. You see, resilience varies…

September 7, 2016 Shahillab

As parents, we long for and dread the time we are no longer needed. If you too are in this position, I’m sure you will agree that parenting is the scariest thing in the world… mostly wonderful, but like a really good thriller, the scary parts literally make your heart stop! You want the very best for your child/ren , actually, you want better than you had… isn’t that what we all aspire to as parents, to give our children the life and the opportunities that we, for whatever reason did not have? Being  a Single Parent Makes Things Challenging…

April 28, 2016 Shahillab 1Comment

The word ‘Nostalgia’ has such romantic connotations. I want to share my Nostalgia discovery with you. So often we hear that you shouldn’t live in the past, I absolutely agree with that statement… IF you re-live, all the negative things that happened… the things that make you say “I Wish” This is a very negative way to go through life as your brain cannot differentiate reality from imagination. These memories can be triggered by anything that you have connected to that memory (sound, smell, taste, environment). When you relive these things in your mind, you re-live it through images. When…

March 22, 2016 Shahillab

You know what you need to do to get it… so why haven’t you achieved your lifestyle goals yet?

3d Man leaning on Exclamation

I have so often wondered about how this happens, I also appreciate that we are complex beings with different perspectives, values and beliefs.

Having met so many people with so much talent who say they want ‘X’.

When the discussion begins, it seems they do have all the answers to how to get ‘X’.

Many times, there’s nothing getting in the way of them going ahead and achieving their lifestyle goals immediately… which is great, right?

Well yes if it happens but very often, I meet them further down the line and they…


Haven’t Achieved it Yet!! What’s Gone Wrong?


The million pound question is, why , how have they not yet achieved their lifestyle goals, those things they so wanted?

That thing they knew how to get when all the factors were perfect, nothing in the way, no barriers, not constraints, no doubts…  what on earth happens?

Only the individual can answer that question in detail (give their excuses… whoops I meant reasons). 

When the time is right and everything is in your favour what is it that has kept you from getting that thing you were so fired up about?

I think it’s all to do with two things, Fear and Procrastination, let me explain this in a simple formula, my very own formula, might I add.

Fear = Procrastination

Procrastination = Inaction

Inaction = No Progress, No ‘X’

In short:  Fear of success=not achieving your ‘X’

That makes me very sad indeed.

If there are barriers, these can be worked through. Could it be that success feels too easy, as the wind (so to speak) was so much in your favour?

Could it be that achieving that success suddenly becomes very real and very scary?

Could it be that knowing what you want and how to get it isn’t enough?

If you want to get over the fear, the procrastination and get the right support:

Join me and the community of doers and supporters today

Here's the Ugly Truth About Success

Sometimes we can know exactly what we want, how to get it and still not achieve it.

Usually because of the fear of failure or success and, this boils down to having enough confidence to ‘Do it‘ anyway.

As Nike would say ‘just do it’ as my mentor would say ‘JFDI’ I think you can work that one out for yourself.

3D man JFDI

Well JFDI is easier said than done and if you falter due to lack of confidence in getting that thing you so want. 

The journey can come to a very sudden halt.

No one is confident all the time, you know that, we all know that and yet no one wants to admit to lacking confidence in any way whatsoever.

If we cannot admit we need something more than a goal to and the steps to achieving success, we could be in for a very stagnant future.

The thing about confidence is that you can always build it up in the areas you need it, does that sound good to you?

Get onto my Free Mastering Confidence Webinar.

You have nothing to lose and a great deal to gain, don't procrastinate on this one. 

Complete the course and get going on achieving your lifestyle goals, this course gives you great value in exchange for your time.

Many of the people in the media in the public eye have moments of loss of

confidence or areas in their lives that they don’t feel so confident.

But, they do have techniques and a coach to hand that help them to ‘JFDI’ despite feeling wobbly.

They have learnt ways of regaining loss of confidence, making sure that the show goes on.

You can have that too, you can learn skills and techniques that will allow you to

work through the reasons for your loss of confidence in certain areas of your life.

You can grasp techniques that you can use instantly on occasions where you feel your confidence is about to depart. 

As with anything, you have to learn it and do it and keep doing it until it becomes your norm…

Can You Do That?

Your answer depends on how much you want the things that you are currently not working towards, the lifestyle, the career progression, the new job, the work/life balance whatever it is that you know you want, know what to do to get it, but haven’t got yet.  If you could get a fabulous and free solution to keeping a hold of your confidence at all times, would you take it?


If you just shouted a big Yes at this blog, I have that very solution, it’s fabulous and it’s free.

Having spent the past 23 years in people development and training, I have seen and learned a great deal about us humans, us people, individuals, unique beings.

I have taken all of that and created a free training webinar which is all about confidence, yes really!

All you have to do is click the link, book your place and enjoy my company for 90 minutes…are you up for that?

I know I am and I know I’ll thoroughly enjoy your company too.

No more to do now than to hover your mouse over here and secure your free place. I’ll see you there!

Oh, and any questions before the event can be sent to me directly: Shahilla@shahillabarok.com




December 9, 2015 Shahillab

I have previously written about technology and the mixed bag it brings us….if you’re like me it will be a bit of a love and hate relationship…mostly love but sometimes it’s just all too much tech to handle. As a single mum, who runs a business and also runs a charity in her ‘spare’ time, yes the word spare is utilised very loosely indeed as time is at a premium in my life. I feel I have the ability to easily lose myself, I feel like I become a vessel with a multitude of purposes and I’m no longer me,…

October 1, 2015 Shahillab

“Ohh Really?, oh dear, no that’s not good but perhaps there’s a reason, I’ll go and have a chat with them” I heard myself trying to be empathetic with my neighbour’s woeful tale…a part of me, well actually, a great deal of me was completely distracted. A piano outside one of the houses…the new neighbours who had just moved in a couple of days ago clearly didn’t want it anymore; perhaps they didn’t have space for it? I guess they must have been reluctant to see it go. The weather was fine and perhaps they thought they’d leave it out…

September 24, 2015 Shahillab

“You do realise he may be the last one ever, don’t you?” as the tube ‘clickity clacked’ towards Covent Garden, I pondered that question even though I actually had no idea whether or not my friend’s statement was true. “well people don’t know if there will be a new one voted in due to the differences of opinion……” so she went on to explain the reason this Dalai Lama may be the last, a real eye opener. I was just really excited and looking forward to the experience, come what may.            As we stepped into the hustle and bustle…

September 10, 2015 Shahillab

…to working towards your financial (and other) goals I recently attended a very insightful, straight talking seminar for entrepreneurial women. I found this event really interesting and useful, for once; I was able to follow all the financial information and advice provided. This was a jargon-free look at all of your investment options covering the pros and cons of each in clear and simple terms. Being at this event really got me thinking…how many people enthusiastically attend a seminar /talk/presentation on a subject that they want to work towards or further develop? Many of us have something that we would…